Turning Your Heart Into Art

Turning Your Heart Into Art

Turning your heart into art

I’ve always been a dreamer.

I dreamed of being an astronaut and traveling to space, I dreamed of being a knight and fighting dragons, and I dreamed of creating my own animated short.

In 2022, I made that last dream come true. In the Fall of 2022 I participated in the X in a Box Story Xperiential 9 week course. During the course, Pixar’s story artists guided us through creating a story reel using Pixar’s story structure. This story reel is what came out of this course – It’s called Sprout and it was a labour of love! The story is inspired by my childhood and how out of place I always felt.

Creating this short was so cathartic. It brought up a lot of feelings of how lonely it felt growing up as a person of colour in a very tiny town in Canada. Not only did I feel out of place at school, but at home too. My parents didn’t really know the real me. I hid a lot of myself from them – because I knew I wouldn’t be accepted.

At school, I tried to blend in and not bring any attention to myself. I was ashamed of how different I looked and most people didn’t know anything about my home life – not even my closest friends.

As an adult, I’ve come to embrace almost all the things that make me different…still working on loving myself. I’m trying to listen to the advice I give to my son – weird is a side effect of awesome!

I hope you will enjoy this story reel as much as I enjoyed creating it. It’s my heart turned into art. My goal is to fully animate this reel into an animated short.

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Anxiety

Anxiety

The Art of Being Anxious

I have dealt with anxiety for half of my life. I have had days where I can barely function because my whole nervous system is freaking out. Days where my brain focuses on one scary thought and doesn’t let go. Days of sitting in front of the tv like a zombie. Days where all I did was survive the day.

My anxiety has always been something I’ve been ashamed of. It makes me feel weak. It makes me feel broken. It makes me feel less-than. And I know that’s not true, but it’s hard to shake off those feelings when everyone around me seems so calm and collected and in control. It’s hard to even admit to myself that what I’m feeling is real and valid.

But it is real! And it is valid! And it’s okay to let myself feel these things, because they’re normal—and they’re a part of who I am as a person right now. They help me grow and learn more about myself by making me face my fears head-on instead of running away from them.

I’ve come to accept the fact that my anxiety will always be a part of me. I’ve learned that accepting my anxiety doesn’t mean ignoring it or giving up on it—it means welcoming it into my life and learning how to live with it. When I feel anxious, I don’t fight it or try to make it go away; instead, I let myself feel the heavy chest and racing mind. And when I do, I notice how quickly those feelings leave my body once they’re allowed in.

When you’re in an anxious state of mind, it can feel impossible to see past your own thoughts and emotions. But if you can just take a moment to breathe deeply and acknowledge what you’re experiencing right now, you’ll start to realize how much power your own mind has over your body and emotions.

Over the years I found the tools that helps my anxious brain. Mindfulness and writing is what works best for me. I use my anxiety as fuel for my poetry and art – and you know what? Those pieces are ALWAYS my best work.

Have you ever dealt with anxiety? If yes, what tools have helped you?

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