Why is there an “if” in Life?

Because life isn’t a straight road, but a winding path, full of twists, turns, and questions. The “if” is where we find our wonder and our fear. It’s that pause before a choice, the breath before a leap, the quiet in-between where dreams and doubts live side by side.

Without the “if,” life would be set, predictable—a line drawn too neatly. But the “if” cracks life open. It invites us to reach, to stretch, to imagine what could be. It gives us room to grow, even if it’s messy, even if it hurts. Each “if” carries the weight of possibility—who we might love if we’re brave enough, what we might create if we’re bold enough, and the life we might live if we’re willing to step into the unknown.

I remember standing at my own ‘if,’ during what felt like the hardest time of my life. I was running a custom stationery business that kept me afloat—barely. Each month felt like a financial tightrope walk. I was living paycheck to paycheck, sometimes dipping into my line of credit just to make it through. The numbers never added up to security, only survival. But I was about to become a mother, and something in me stirred, telling me that if I didn’t leap now, I might never find the time or the courage once the baby arrived.

As a kid, I had a dream—to be a children’s book illustrator, to bring comfort and magic to other children the way books had for me. I’d spend hours lost in my sketchbook, imagining characters, drawing worlds that felt magical. But when it came time to choose a path, I didn’t believe in myself enough to follow it. I didn’t even apply to illustration school. I thought I wasn’t good enough, that my skills would never measure up. On the advice of a teacher, I chose graphic design instead—a safe, practical choice.

Through college and two creative agency jobs, I tried to make it work. But no matter how hard I pushed myself, it never felt right. I hated it. Every project reminded me that I was far from where I wanted to be. My heart was somewhere else, buried under layers of self-doubt and “what ifs.”

It was only when I became pregnant with my son that I found the courage I’d been searching for. He was and still is, my little lucky charm. I remember the feeling of sitting alone, hands resting on my belly, imagining the life I wanted to create—not just for myself, but for the tiny life growing inside me. The doubts were loud. I had no steady income waiting for me, no promises of success. Just a lingering ache for something more, and the fear that if I didn’t choose this “if,” I’d be stuck in survival mode forever.

So, with a heart full of hope and fear, I took the leap. I shut down my business, stepped away from what little stability I had, and gave myself fully to illustration. It was messy, it was hard, and some days, it felt impossible. But choosing that “if” cracked my life wide open, leading me to a path of creation, connection, and success that I’d only ever dreamed of.

The “if” reminds us that life is always changing—a dance of choices and chances. It makes each moment meaningful, each decision weighty. Our “ifs” shape us, soften us, and sometimes break us open.

So, why is there an “if” in Life?

Because life isn’t about certainty. It’s about curiosity. It’s about feeling our way forward, holding onto hope, and trusting in the magic of the unknown. The “if” is what makes life alive, crackling with possibility and dreams waiting to unfold.

Creative Challenge: The “If I Were” Poem

Instructions: Settle In: Find a quiet, cozy spot where you feel relaxed. Grab your journal or a piece of paper, and allow yourself a few minutes to breathe deeply and tune in to your thoughts. There’s no rush, no judgment—just curiosity.

Start with Each Prompt: Above are ten “If I were” prompts. (My answers are in blue) Let each one be a doorway into different parts of yourself. Read each “If I were” prompt below, and quickly write the first thing that comes to mind. Let your answers flow without overthinking - even if it feels silly or surprising. Especially if it feels surprising.

Look Over Your Words: When you’re done, read through your responses.

Craft Your Poem (Optional): When you’ve finished, take a look at your answers. You might arrange them into a short, free-flowing poem. Or, keep them as they are—a collection of insights that reveal different pieces of you.

Reflect: Read through your words and notice any themes or feelings that stand out. Let this be a moment of self-discovery, a glimpse of the parts of you that sometimes stay quiet.